“Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?” says the Lord.” Jeremiah 23:24
I’m stuck on that contraption.
Yesterday, I was introduced to a device that can make a 3-D image of a building, for drafting and design purposes.
I’m still thinking about it today.
This is why.
I jokingly remarked to the bearer of the contraption that we would have no more secrets in the building after he was finished.
Somehow, that phrase is sticking with me. Sitting in my throat. Giving me an uneasy, unsettled set to my jaw.
See, it reminds me that there are no secrets before God.
God knows everything.
He knows all the dumb things I’ve said. All the stupid things I’ve done. All the hurts and hidden spaces I’ve tried so hard to block everyone else out of.
It’s like we are a building, with rooms. Some rooms are public – others are allowed in, and can freely come and go. We keep those areas clean and tidy; they are for ‘company’.
Then there are friends and family only rooms. Those are more casual, more comfortable. We can be more ourselves there. But those rooms are still presentable.
There are also the secret rooms – the ones even our spouses may not be familiar with. They hold stashes of secrets – closets crammed with painful memories and difficult experiences. Even we don’t go in there very often.
And some of us have cubbies and closets that have never seen the light of day…
Those are scary places, holding secrets even their owners can’t understand. We guard those with our lives. We will lie, cheat, steal, twist anything, step over anyone, to keep them under lock and key.
But this verse blows that illusion of keeping anything a secret right out of the water…
He is the contraption, the laser beam that penetrates all our defense mechanisms, all our attempts at walls. He sees it all – the mess. The coverup. The brutal reality of the pain and the habits we pick up to try to make sense of what we can’t ever make sense of.
And it stings.
It’s uncomfortable, being laid bare like that. Having all excuses, all justifications, all our dirty laundry bumping into the skeletons that just won’t stay put.
But here’s the thing that makes me a puddle.
God sees it all. Brutally, honestly, no holds barred, all laid bare.
And He loves me.
He looks at me with eyes of compassion because Jesus suffered, too. Jesus was misunderstood, too. Jesus was gossiped about, lied to, betrayed by one of His closest friends – then handed over to His enemies in a gross miscarriage of justice, sentenced in a mock court in the middle of the night, and wrongly executed for a crime He didn’t commit.
And oh, friend, how thankful I am!
How thankful I am, that the God who sees all also is my Champion. The One who knows all my dirty secrets is the One who moved heaven and earth to forgive them. The One who knows my trauma and shame and pain is the One who wants to help me renovate, clean out the grime and mould and asbestos and remediate the hidden corners to create more space for Him to live in and through me!
There are still a few closets I need to open and air out. There are still places locked up because they have been too painful to even acknowledge, let alone enter and sweep out. But I know that in time, Jesus Himself will unlock the doors and roll up His sleeves and work alongside me, tools at the ready.
Until then, this reminder that there are really no secrets from God sets my heart at rest. I am getting to know His heart, you see – and His heart is good. My vision of God as a stern and angry judge is changing as I see His other characteristics. And the more I learn to trust this God who is good, the more doors that I can open to His presence and grace.
This Thanksgiving weekend, is there a door you can open for the first time? Or – is there a place that you can invite Jesus into as a guest?
Wouldn’t it be nice to do some inner renovations, and carve some more living space out of what was just cluttered and neglected?
Give God a little more access to your heart with me this Thanksgiving?
Father, You see it all – and mourn when we remain locked to Your presence and Light and Love. Thank You for the profound forgiveness and mercy that are mine in the name and person of Jesus. Help me to open up more of myself to Your comfort and grace. Amen.